Thrawn's Revenge
Off Topic => The Lounge => Topic started by: Dane Kiet on March 14, 2008, 11:59:31 PM
-
This is not just advertisement, I want some serious feed-back on this story. It's one I am writing, so i want it to be good. And yes, this first chapter is short, but I am making the next one bigger.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4045386/1/The_Dreamer_Part_One_The_Boy (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4045386/1/The_Dreamer_Part_One_The_Boy)
Please read and review here. Also, if you want, I can post sections of work-in-progress for review.
Oh, and I am putting it here because I feel you will not hold back any punches.
-
besides changing the words used when cursing very good. send me the links of everyone you finish!!!
-
I see a very epic, detailed and well written story. I hope to see further from you, Dane Kiet. You have managed to arouse my curiosity.
-
besides changing the words used when cursing very good. send me the links of everyone you finish!!!
I fully intend to use those, and more words, like them (read the Author's Note). But, c'mon, you can't say anything more...... constructive? I find it hard to believe it has no other problems.
-
i meant like the words they use when cursing. you don't hear shit used, you hear like sithspawn or something along those lines.
-
As i said, read the Author's Note.
-
Personally, I prefer not having swearing. Most modern fantasies use substitutes that give their stories a more 'epic' and fantastical feel to them, for example; In the Wheel of Time, characters emphasize their emotions and distaste through words such as "Light!" or "Burn me!" or "Bloody!" and even "Burn you!", and they are implemented very well.
-
Or in BSG they always say 'frack'
-
I love BSG, but I have to keep the curses with this fic. Bartosz, Dane, and Derrick all come from Earth. I'll leave it at that for now...
-
Yeah-Earthians (lol I love the slang) love using single words for insults-how does calling someone an 'arsehole' compare to calling them an egotistical selfish moron? Common people are so un-inventive.....they provide no challenge for us.
-
Dane hasn't had the chance to insult anyone yet, so you have no idea what lines I'll be giving him in the future.
Oh, and any suggestions on how to describe what battle meditation feels like?
-
it should feel like the energy and concentration of a fight flows around you with you at the center for starters?
-
I cannot say....
Though I think your best bet is what Isamu suggests.
-
Two more things:
First, should I stick to canon Revan?
And second, what color lightsaber should Dane get?
-
obviously you should stick to canon revan. dane should have a silver lightsaber.
-
Dane can have whatever lightsaber you prefer; you shouldnt ask us for our opinion; what if it led to us giving you a really bad idea then you go through with it? Your text would become a disaster.
-
I would like a little support with these answers. And I never said that I would actually use your suggestions. Oh, and sliver is out. Derrick will be getting that.
-
what about a black lightsaber? that would be cool.
-
what about a black lightsaber? that would be cool.
that would be cool but lightsabers are made of light, light cant be black. but you could ignore that fact...
-
it could be some real bad ass sith lightsaber
-
I dont think there are black lightsaber crystals.
And I was just giving you advice Kiet.
-
u know not all crystals used in lightsabers are specifically lightsaber oriented
-
I know; I just cant remember their names. :)
-
All colors that are possible (as far as I know)
Sliver(taken)
Cyan
Blue
Viridian(?)
Green
Yellow
Orange
Red
Purple
-
Some of those colors I have never seen in any Star Wars thing to date. That's a pretty cool list though.
-
You can get all those colors in Kotor 2.
-
Really? Another reason to get it. I saw it for $25 in Dick Smith Electornics today (australian dollars of course-btw Im Australian!) and I was so surprised I nearly bought it, but I couldnt be bothered.
-
if it helps, im pretty sure that viridian is green.
-
It's paler than standard green, but yes.
-
where do you get cyan?
-
Bronze, Silver, Gold, Magenta, Pink, Crimson, White and Teal were also possible, I'm pretty sure.... They could probably make a crystal of any colour that isn't black....
-
y not black?
-
Black occurs when an object absords light, not when it reflects it or gives it off. "Black" lights are really purple in hue.
-
lightsabers also reflect their creators. your guy could be so bad that it no longer admits light. it produces darkness. which actually makes more sense if you think about it than a sith having a LIGHT saber. they should have a DARK saber
-
They don't literally reflect their creators, the creators custom make them to make them personal items. They are one of a kind items, but they never change in appearance. And you can't project darkness! Darkness occurs when light is blocked or absorbed.
-
thats what i meant but it was hard to express
-
You meant that what you were suggesting was impossible, even by Star Wars standards.....?
-
with what is at your desposal yes