Thrawn's Revenge

Off Topic => The Lounge => Topic started by: Illidan Stormrage on May 31, 2017, 04:15:51 PM

Title: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Illidan Stormrage on May 31, 2017, 04:15:51 PM
So I am a high school student, and I their is this girl....
She has red hair, she is very kind, and very sweet.
I kind of have a... (*sigh*) ...crush on her, and I think she may like me back.
the only problem is I am a shitty high school dude who is kind of a loser.
I sometimes get these great jokes in, but I am a fucking terrible at talking to girls...
what should I do?

Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: NamesJeff on May 31, 2017, 05:08:17 PM
To be honest, the hardest part for me is keeping cool. It is easy to get nervous in these types of situations. I heard that confidence is important when it comes to girls and that faking confidence leads to actual confidence.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: tlmiller on May 31, 2017, 06:05:51 PM
Be yourself.  Really really hard to be yourself sometimes when you don't have a lot of self-confidence.  But 90% of the time, if you try to pull off acting like you're "cooler" than you are, she's going to see through it and be less impressed.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Mr.Puerto on May 31, 2017, 06:07:45 PM
I'll give you some advice I'm not an expert in this field by any means. First I would (if I was in your position obviously) try to hang out with her more, the more you do that the more you see her less as a girl (which is the stem of your nervousness everyone has it in high school don't worry) and more of a friend. That way you'll be able to have a normalized relationship with her. Then once you both get used to each other (don't wait too long) then you ask her out on a date or confess you have a crush on her. Then you go with the flow I guess.

I have a very hard time communicating this advice to people, I've never really had a hard time talking to girls. I just go with the flow of the conversation and the girl's personality. The only problem I truly have is; I do not like talking to new people(the story for that is for a different time) so it always seems like I have a problem talking to girls when that is not the case. So I hope this helped a little bit and please respond if you need me to elaborate on a couple things.

I would also go with Miller's advice as well.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Illidan Stormrage on May 31, 2017, 07:56:08 PM
Should I invite her to a movie?
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Mr.Puerto on May 31, 2017, 08:30:42 PM
Should I invite her to a movie?
Nah do something that both of you can talk to each other maybe dinner or Ice cream.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Helix345 on May 31, 2017, 08:33:28 PM
Nah do something that both of you can talk to each other maybe dinner or Ice cream.

Or... you could invite her to a movie and have something to talk about.

Good conversation piece as it seems you don't have much to approach her with. Just pick something that you both like.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: tlmiller on May 31, 2017, 08:38:29 PM
Yup, if you do a movie, do movie & dinner (movie first) or movie and ice cream (again movie first) or movie and whatever after.  It's great to have something built-in to the date that you know you can talk about so being nervous about what to talk about is minimized.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Mr.Puerto on May 31, 2017, 09:11:23 PM
Yup, if you do a movie, do movie & dinner (movie first) or movie and ice cream (again movie first) or movie and whatever after.  It's great to have something built-in to the date that you know you can talk about so being nervous about what to talk about is minimized.
*Takes out a notepad and writes down notes passionately
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Illidan Stormrage on May 31, 2017, 09:22:16 PM
*Takes out a notepad and writes down notes passionately
lol
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: DarthRevansRevenge on May 31, 2017, 10:50:50 PM
*Takes out a notepad and writes down notes passionately

lol

lol indeed. not scribbling notes, but keeping this in mind when i leave high school
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Illidan Stormrage on May 31, 2017, 11:05:31 PM
I wonder what words of wisdom Corey can give us... LOL
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Lord Xizer on June 01, 2017, 12:03:21 AM
So I am a high school student, and I their is this girl....
She has red hair, she is very kind, and very sweet.
I kind of have a... (*sigh*) ...crush on her, and I think she may like me back.
the only problem is I am a shitty high school dude who is kind of a loser.
I sometimes get these great jokes in, but I am a fucking terrible at talking to girls...
what should I do?


Ask her out, just be causal about it and then offer a date to something you both like, also add food, everyone loves food.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Mr.Puerto on June 01, 2017, 01:50:52 AM

Ask her out, just be causal about it and then offer a date to something you both like, also add food, everyone loves food.
I agree with this
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: DarthRevansRevenge on June 01, 2017, 10:49:02 AM
same here
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Helix345 on June 01, 2017, 11:38:54 AM
What exactly do you know about her? what kind of food does she like? Does she like to read? Does she play sports? ectr, ectr, ectr...
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Illidan Stormrage on June 01, 2017, 08:18:10 PM
I spoke to her friend and she told be to man up and ask her to home coming.
She also said take her to the movie
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Mr.Puerto on June 01, 2017, 08:59:12 PM
I spoke to her friend and she told be to man up and ask her to home coming.
She also said take her to the movie
Do you go to a year round school? Also when is homecoming?

I would try to talk to the girl you like to find out naturally what she likes and what she doesn't. That's the best way to get someone to like you I think. Not only do you know that stuff but you also bond with her in that time.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Lord Xizer on June 01, 2017, 09:20:01 PM
I spoke to her friend and she told be to man up and ask her to home coming.
She also said take her to the movie

This advice is sound. Act on it.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Illidan Stormrage on June 01, 2017, 10:00:36 PM
well... What movie?
Wonder Women? What kind?
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Lord Xizer on June 01, 2017, 10:21:51 PM
well... What movie?
Wonder Women? What kind?

Ask her friend what movies she prefers to get some insight. Dates are like battles, you need intelligence gathering first to make things smoother in the decisive moment.

However Wonder Woman might well be a great choice, empowerment aspect aside, it's so far been called a good popcorn flick and will give you two some talking points over the food.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: kucsidave on June 02, 2017, 08:14:17 AM
Or, if you don't want to risk it that her friend tells her in advance, you can always offer her to chose a movie(don't give her all the work though, be there with her) and you can always get a good impression from her choice. if it is a typical friend movie, then you might have been friendzoned, but there is a way out though. If a romantic one then it is either a test if you sleep in it or not, or you're basically blatantly told that you're a winner.
oh, and an advice. If they say maybe later then it is basicly a no and in 90% of the time they just trying to stall until you give up. Give them some time before trying again, but try to prove her that you are good for her in the meantime. But if they say no then press on hard because they might just playing hard to get.
Also whatever happens, don't give up!
You have to show her that you are serious about this and not just playing around her.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Pali on June 02, 2017, 07:26:31 PM
If a girl says no in any context, then do NOT press harder - that is harassment, possibly stalking.  Respect the no and back off.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Grand Admiral Rufaan Tigellinus on June 03, 2017, 01:15:06 PM
If a girl says no in any context, then do NOT press harder - that is harassment, possibly stalking.  Respect the no and back off.

Jeez, what makes you think that he would have harassed her? He was just asking for advice. And I'm pretty sure he knows his boundaries himself as any reasonable person should.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Pali on June 03, 2017, 05:10:08 PM
Jeez, what makes you think that he would have harassed her? He was just asking for advice. And I'm pretty sure he knows his boundaries himself as any reasonable person should.

I was less speaking directly to AdmiralThrawn in that post, and more countering what kucsidave said in the post above mine:

Quote
But if they say no then press on hard because they might just playing hard to get.

This is terrible advice that should not be followed.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Illidan Stormrage on June 03, 2017, 06:59:00 PM
This is terrible advice that should not be followed.
Really Dave has always given great Advice
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Pali on June 03, 2017, 09:01:35 PM
Seriously?  If a girl says no - if ANYONE says no regarding damn near anything - take them at their word and respect it.  If they're playing hard to get, you're passing up a chance to get with someone willing to play stupid games with you - is that the kind of partner you want?  If they're sincere, you're risking restraining orders or jail.  You really have no way to tell which, so err on the side of caution and take them at their word.

There's also the basic decency of respecting consent, which doesn't just apply to sex but also to general interactions.  Do you want someone hanging around after you've told them to leave you alone?  Why be the person doing that to someone else?  Don't force yourself on others, even in terms of just being around them.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Mr.Puerto on June 03, 2017, 10:26:24 PM
Edit: Turns out what I thought was correct, just some confusion in what was said.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Illidan Stormrage on June 03, 2017, 11:46:56 PM
Seriously?  If a girl says no - if ANYONE says no regarding damn near anything - take them at their word and respect it.  If they're playing hard to get, you're passing up a chance to get with someone willing to play stupid games with you - is that the kind of partner you want?  If they're sincere, you're risking restraining orders or jail.  You really have no way to tell which, so err on the side of caution and take them at their word.

There's also the basic decency of respecting consent, which doesn't just apply to sex but also to general interactions.  Do you want someone hanging around after you've told them to leave you alone?  Why be the person doing that to someone else?  Don't force yourself on others, even in terms of just being around them.
sorry man...
I did not mean to be a jerk
does Corey have any advice?
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Pali on June 04, 2017, 02:42:09 AM
sorry man...
I did not mean to be a jerk
does Corey have any advice?

I didn't mean to make you feel like one - you weren't being one at all.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: kucsidave on June 04, 2017, 06:28:03 PM
duuuude! I didn't told him to go be a creep. I told him that he might need to up his game.
It might be just a Hungarian thing, but my best friend was rejected 3 times by a girl, but he didn't gave up on her and eventually the girl said yes and now they are married for 2 years.
DETERMINATION MAN!
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Illidan Stormrage on June 04, 2017, 07:30:01 PM
duuuude! I didn't told him to go be a creep. I told him that he might need to up his game.
It might be just a Hungarian thing, but my best friend was rejected 3 times by a girl, but he didn't gave up on her and eventually the girl said yes and now they are married for 2 years.
DETERMINATION MAN!
See Pali
Dave was not giving terrible Advice.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Pali on June 04, 2017, 09:30:43 PM
duuuude! I didn't told him to go be a creep. I told him that he might need to up his game.

Then you'll have to forgive my misunderstanding of your saying "If she says no then press on hard".  I hope you can see how that was open to misinterpretation.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: kucsidave on June 05, 2017, 06:24:05 AM
well, it's okay. I just never even imagined that anyone would come up with something like this.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Pali on June 05, 2017, 05:03:18 PM
well, it's okay. I just never even imagined that anyone would come up with something like this.

The problem may well be that I've seen far too many bits of advice from "Pick-Up Artists" who would mean what you said exactly the way I took it: don't back off no matter what, when she says no she really means yes, etc.  And that is indeed truly terrible advice.  There is a safe level of showing persistent interest, and you have my apologies for not being charitable enough to assume that was what you were encouraging, but you can absolutely find guys who will teach other guys to disregard consent.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Illidan Stormrage on June 06, 2017, 10:40:35 PM
hahhahaa
she added me on snap chat.
her friends keep telling me she thinks I am a charming and great guy
yessss *does the thing the collector does in guardians*
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Helix345 on June 07, 2017, 01:12:29 PM
continue talking to her and try to stay relevant to her life, and things will go very smoothly.
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: Mr.Puerto on June 07, 2017, 03:55:15 PM
As the kids say these days "slide in those DMs."
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: True Light Guy on February 19, 2018, 04:51:12 PM
As a man that made it out of the friend zone, just listening to their problems and offering solutions, even if it does not benefit you (like telling her to make it work with her current bf [if applicable], even if he is a douche). a neutral opinion and honest advice is a great foundation of a relationship. (or so my fiance behind me with a weapon tells me).
Title: Re: Ummm... I need Advice
Post by: dajosh42069 on March 01, 2018, 11:29:15 AM
Obviously I'm a little late to the party on this one... But.. how'd it go?
OP ever post results? Lol