Thrawn's Revenge

Off Topic => The Lounge => Topic started by: Kratas on November 15, 2007, 04:24:22 PM

Title: my stories
Post by: Kratas on November 15, 2007, 04:24:22 PM
this is a prologue to a story i am writing its called fall of a soldier so enjoy
We
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Corey on November 15, 2007, 04:29:23 PM
Post the story, don't attach it.
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Kratas on November 15, 2007, 04:35:17 PM
okay :-\
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Kratas on November 15, 2007, 04:39:38 PM
arb do you even plan to read it
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Xoriss on November 15, 2007, 05:44:54 PM
We
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Scarecrow63 on November 15, 2007, 06:08:48 PM
At the beginning putting non-stop and then stopped in the same sentence sounds weird.

they hadn’t known we’d known they were following us,

the two knowns are a little weird as well

Also the last sentence is a little long, break that up a little
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Slornie on November 15, 2007, 07:31:33 PM
Well, i'll just add some constructive criticism like everyone else.

We
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: GrndAdmrlPellaeon on November 15, 2007, 08:27:57 PM
Nice. The only problem that I see, that hasn't already been stated, is that the battle scene could be a little more exciting.
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Kratas on November 16, 2007, 12:35:51 PM
it is a prologue a experiment to whether i should write more after all this im thinking not and if i do im keeping it to ueaw they appreciate my work
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Corey on November 16, 2007, 03:32:40 PM
We
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Scarecrow63 on November 16, 2007, 03:45:15 PM
it is a prologue a experiment to whether i should write more after all this im thinking not and if i do im keeping it to ueaw they appreciate my work

You'll never do anything good if its reviewed by people that only say nice job
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Kratas on November 16, 2007, 04:27:56 PM
i really dont like you people any-more
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Corey on November 16, 2007, 04:40:56 PM
it is a prologue a experiment to whether i should write more after all this im thinking not and if i do im keeping it to ueaw they appreciate my work

And we're only gonna show our updates and release our mods to the team.  :)
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Slornie on November 16, 2007, 07:01:00 PM
@ Kratas: Where did anyone say that they dont appreciate it?  The point of constructive criticism is to help you improve, the same way that constructive criticism of the mod is intended to ensure that the finished mod is as polished and balanced as possible.
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: vadereclipse on November 16, 2007, 08:48:01 PM
it is a prologue a experiment to whether i should write more after all this im thinking not and if i do im keeping it to ueaw they appreciate my work

And we're only gonna show our updates and release our mods to the team.  :)

lol
was that a UEAW diss?
they are so distant from the modding community.
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Corey on November 16, 2007, 09:47:30 PM
No. He was saying that he was only going to post it where they say "great job". Thats like us keeping the updates and mods from people who might suggest that it could use some improvement.
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: GrndAdmrlPellaeon on November 16, 2007, 10:08:38 PM
There should be an "alright" option for the poll.
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Kratas on November 17, 2007, 12:57:28 PM
well to be honest i dont  even intend to download ueaw and your critiscism is appreciated oh and if you actually say you like my stories i'll post more
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Noret on November 29, 2007, 08:19:15 PM
then why are you on their forums?

Use their when you're here. Otherwise people may take "our" to mean ThrRev rather than UEAW, seeing as you're obviously on the team here, but people may not know you're on the UEAW one... -Corey

Sorry my bad
Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Kratas on November 30, 2007, 02:10:02 PM
right the main reason im signed up on the ueaw forums is because they have some fun topics like forum wars

does anyone wanna see another one of my stories its nothing to do with the first one but i like it and im writing another chapter of it


Title: Re: my stories
Post by: Kratas on November 30, 2007, 04:44:00 PM
well heres the first part

Fall of a soldier





Anyone else would have been woken up in the explosion. It was a surprise to William that he